Jenny, Exiled

Outed

nobody@vox.com(JennyExiled) — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 18:34:49 -0400

At lunch with some coworkers:

"Have you seen Trekkies? The Star Trek documentary?"

"Nope, haven't seen it yet."

"There's a dentist that has his office set up to look like a ship. And he wears the red Star Trek shirt and everything. Isn't that crazy?"

Everyone agrees it is, in fact, kind of crazy.

"But wait, shouldn't his shirt be blue? I mean, he is a science officer..."

Complete silence.

So yeah, I know what those colors mean. And I'll own it.

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I'm so messed up right now.

nobody@vox.com(JennyExiled) — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 10:14:00 -0400

I don't know what to do about it.

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Restless

nobody@vox.com(JennyExiled) — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 01:01:31 -0400

I feel like making a change. A big one.

I'm not sure what I think needs to change. I'm bored. Antsy. I want some grand gesture that shows I'm on a new path. Entering a new phase. Doing things differently.

The last time I felt like this, I quit my job and moved to a foreign country. While that was certainly a change, I'm not sure it worked out well in the long run. So...

Let's hope this feeling passes before I do something similarly stupid.

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F*ck you, China.

nobody@vox.com(JennyExiled) — Sat, 16 Aug 2008 11:17:10 -0400

I know this is old news. But I haven't really been paying much attention to the Olympics. I had heard about the lip-syncing scandal and didn't think it was such a big deal. Hollywood does it all the time. Who are we to judge?

Then I found out the "girl" that I had wrongly assumed was some 20-something Asian Britney Spears was actually a 7-year old girl who had won a national contest to sing at the Olympics. And she's pretty much adorable. And the person who made the decision to replace her was some politburo douchebag, primarily because of the child's teeth.

Dude. She's seven! Children are supposed to have charmingly crooked teeth and not be model perfect.

So you know what, China? You suck.

Disclaimer: Ordinarily I might put some type of PC garbage here about not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings, but honestly, I don't really give a rat's ass who this post might offend. Bite me.

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QotD: Crazy Sexy Cool

nobody@vox.com(JennyExiled) — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 13:26:51 -0400

What three qualities do you look for in a partner?
Submitted by Tenor Bob

Crazy.
Sexy.
Cool.

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Surprising Car Development (No, Really)

nobody@vox.com(JennyExiled) — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 12:54:24 -0400

Took my car into the shop yesterday for my "electrical malfunction."

Got a call from the shop.

They can't figure out what's wrong with the car.

They are keeping the car until they do.

My loaner is okay, but is not my car.

I want my car back. Fixed.

Sigh.

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Works for me!

nobody@vox.com(JennyExiled) — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 13:11:16 -0400

Your result for The Harry Potter Husband Test...

Mrs. Weasley Twin

http://cdn.okcimg.com/php/load_okc_image.php/images/0x0/0x0/0/15108302035250907513.jpeg" width="750" height="1094" />

Laughter is important to you. You want a guy who's never boring, who can always put a smile on your face, and who can pull the best of pranks and never get caught. Or possibly two such guys. Because let's face it, they're pretty much a two-fer. You get one, you get both. Even if one of them's only a friend, he'll still be around so much you'll feel like you're married to him, too. Sure, they may not seem like the most mature guys in the world, in a traditional sense, but just ask them about their business plan. When they drive you nuts by relentlessly testing their latest inventions on you, you can console youself with that huge stack of cash and dragon-leather jacket. Besides, you know you're powerless against those stereo smiles.

Take'>http://www.helloquizzy.com/tests/the-harry-potter-husband-test">Take The Harry Potter Husband Test at http://www.helloquizzy.com/"><b style="color:#131313">HelloQuizzy

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At some point, I will post about something other than my car. Promise.

nobody@vox.com(JennyExiled) — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 21:25:38 -0400

So I go to put gas in my car tonight.

The gas tank cover won't open if the car doors are locked, but as long as one door is unlocked, it should release.

What's the key word in that last sentence? Why, it's "should," of course.

I pull into the gas station on fumes, pay the attendant and then can't get the cover open. My driver's side door is open, but I had to unlock it with my super secret key that I didn't know existed in my remote until yesterday.

[SIDEBAR: Everyone at work laughed at me today. Apparently the "super secret" key was only a secret to me. Whatever. Honestly, I don't think it was that intuitive that it was in there.]

Lovely.

Luckily, I was able to open my trunk, which is where I keep my owner's manual because the thing is too darn big to fit in the glove compartment. It's clear to me at this point that the car is just too smart for its own good. If more things were manual, my little "electrical malfunction" wouldn't be causing all of these problems. And the manual wouldn't need to be the size of Webster's dictionary.

There is a manual release for the gas tank. And I only had to remove an access panel in my trunk to get to it. Sigh.

Hate. The. Car.

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The news you are all waiting for!

nobody@vox.com(JennyExiled) — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 12:17:54 -0400

My car started today.

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More fun with the car.

nobody@vox.com(JennyExiled) — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 12:31:18 -0400

Things my car has in common with Stephen King's Christine:

It's red.
It's possessed.

Okay, so it hasn't actually tried to kill me yet. But it is really starting to piss me off.

This morning, my car decided to again hold me captive via a "door-lock malfunction" with the added bonus of just not starting. I pushed the little roadside assist button and kept getting cut off due to my mysterious "electrical malfunction" but they called me back via my cell phone and set up some much-needed roadside assistance.

Eventually, I was able to open the sunroof and leave the car. My son thought this was great fun. I did not. And then I couldn't close the sunroof. But at least it was sunny and not raining. I called my parents and they showed up to take my kiddo to school, which was very nice of them.

Roadside assist showed up and gave me a jump, which got the car running, but unfortunately did not fix my "door-lock malfunction". I have to take the car into the shop on Thursday to get that checked out. Cross your fingers for me that the "electrical malfunction" doesn't reappear when I try to drive home later today. Sigh.

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